My Ego and About Being Right

What is it about my ego that makes me want to believe I am right rather than doing what is right?

I confuse myself at times between being righteous and doing the right thing. It can be such a perplexing thought. The ego inside of me wants the last word in, wants to be on a pedestal and wants my tires to be pumped. The ego makes me believe that my principles and values are correct and everyone else’s is flawed. And the ego won’t back down from a fight and will do everything to justify my actions, making me believe what I am doing is righteous.

When I fail to listen to others and their perspectives, that’s my ego preventing me from change and therefore growth. Is this ego part of my genetic makeup? Is it an attitude that I inherently have? Is it a learned behaviour?

It’s a struggle for me still at times having this inner conflict with my ego. I can get pulled into a vacuum of the crazy dance as some call it, when I really should be able to accept things as they are and move forward unscathed.

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Many people turn to bloggers and writers for advice and inspiration. But today I’m here before my fellow readers humbled, as a human being and one who still makes mistakes from time to time. Being an author or blogger doesn’t mean I’m always right. I get equally as lost and misguided as anyone else, sometimes maybe more.

And as for my ego, Fuck him! I’ll be ready to duel with him again the next chance I have but with gentle compassion and understanding.

Jason

 

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Jason Lee, Author of Living with the Dragon. Photo by Kristi MacFarlane Photography.

10 thoughts on “My Ego and About Being Right

  1. Not sure if this all was rhetorical but I’ll throw my two cents in anyway. lol

    Not to beat a dead horse or sound like the proverbial broken record,
    But…we all have narcissistic traits, which is quite normal. First and foremost we have to care about ourselves or we won’t be able to care for others.

    But then there’s the modeling we had growing up. Being little sponges and a brain not fully developed, it’s fully open to take in anything. And when it takes on and gets washed with the shit you endured, well, it’s no wonder you are struggling with this.

    It’s probably automatic to react in a self protective manner and see others’ points of view, opinions, arguments as a threat. Whether rational or not.

    I have big issues with this myself.

    Another thing that struck me is when you said “I really should be able to accept things as they are and move forward unscathed.”

    Well, who says? the word “should” is a judgment word. I have been in DBT since July and I have become hyper aware of the use of this word. I use it too. I judge myself (and others) all the time.

    I’m still working on changing my behaviors toward this too. But it’s a start to catch the behavior and be able to see it, look at it, question it. And hopefully it helps to catch myself sooner in the next situation.

    A life time of programming is not easy to penetrate. Kudos to us for being awake, aware, questioning and working toward change.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. What an insightful comment. Thank you for that. Yea, I realize the word “should” is a word of judgment whether towards others or to myself. Perhaps instead of should, I “would” like to accept things as they are. I agree, Kudos for questioning ouselves and working towards change – well said…

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  2. Yes, kudos to you for looking within. Self-examination is important from time to time. I think the danger is in thinking we are not a whole person, though. We are shadow and light – by design. Learning to love and accept the shadow is key. When we fight against, we are actually giving power to that thing we do not want (where are attention is is where our energy goes). Rather accept and love, be gentle with the beast within if we want to tame it.

    For me the answer will always be learning to hear the still small voice of my inner being. Spirit never leads me astray. If the inspiration to write and the impetus to speak is coming from the Source that lives within me, I don’t really have to worry about my ego … simply not a part of that equation. Learning to know the difference between the voice of the mind (ego) and that of the heart (Spirit) is the trick, though, isn’t it? Meditation has helped me tremendously in this area.

    As we move into a new year, I hope you will be gentle with yourself. This is a journey and the destination is expansion. As Abraham Hicks reminds us, “You can’t get it wrong and you’re never done).

    Love and Light,
    ~C

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Jason, I think our ego always speaks “louder”. Thus the “still, small voice” cliche. 😉 The question is not who is talking the loudest, it is only ever, which voice am I going to listen to. I’m learning lately that my body knows the difference between my ego and the voice of Spirit. The long-standing habit of ignoring the quietest voice and rationalizing away the physical signals I have always gotten is indeed a difficult one to break. But I think you and I are going to get there.

        I have long known that everyone receives whatever it is they truly seek. No doubt in my mind that those who seek to overcome the shadow will succeed. Here’s to wholeness.

        Have a very happy and healthy New Year!
        ~ C

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Im getting more aware of my ego in a negative sense lately I see that often I assume my way is right but maybe its right for me but not for anyone else and it might not be my place to say so. I also notice that I can over react from ego when I feel sidelined or if my abandonment wound is triggered then I need to sit down quietly and talk to my inner child before reacting out of that hurt. Its a fine line. I appreciate you writing this post.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I’m sorry I haven’t responded in some time.

    I think we all have an ego problem, in truth. But the truth is, I also value your perspective. I’ve, personally, always seen you as courageous and humble. It takes a lot to talk about emotional pain, especially since we live in a society that seems to always want to suppress emotions.

    Thank you for your perspective!

    A belated Merry Christmas to you, and a Happy New Years!

    Liked by 1 person

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